M.A. Mills Launches Inclusive Funeral Wishes Initiative for LGBTQIA+ Community

An East Midlands based funeral directors has launched a funeral wishes initiative to encourage more members of the LGBTQIA+ community to ensure their end-of-life needs and wishes are known.

M.A. Mills Funeral Service is encouraging people to come into one of its four funeral homes across Nottinghamshire and Derbyshire, to collect a simple one-page form, where they can note down any specific funeral preferences they may have.

The questionnaire, which can either be handed back to the funeral directors for safe keeping, or kept at home, can be used by anyone regardless of how they identify, and works as an informal, low pressure and no cost way to start funeral planning.

Kaitlan Thompson, Funeral Arranger at M.A. Mills, who has completed specialist funeral training with GIRES (Gender Identity Research Educational Society), said: “We understand it can be difficult to think about how you or a loved one may want to be commemorated, but sadly too often, bereaved family members come to us distressed and with no real understanding or appreciation as to what someone might have wanted.

“It can be quite heartbreaking to see the lost look on their faces and the realisation that they should have had this conversation, especially if someone dies quite suddenly.”

The initiative comes following the powerful TV series, TipToe, which explores themes of persistent homophobia which sadly remain prevalent in modern society.

Kaitlan added: “If a person identifies as LGBTQIA+, there are some important considerations that need to be made when it comes to end-of-life care, which can add further complexities for a family which is already grieving, and doing its best to honour someone’s life in the way they think they would have wanted.

“We have a team of experts who are trained in these areas and can walk families through the options available at need. However, having a funeral wishes sheet in place can alleviate some of the pressure on the bereaved and also provide some peace of mind that your choices will be honoured.”

The initiative involves M.A. Mills encouraging open conversations and the completion of a funeral wishes sheet, which outlines a series of questions to help family members and funeral arrangers give the deceased the send-off they would have wanted. The form covers everything from the type of service preferred, through to preferences on dress, pronouns, names and the use of prosthetics.

While the form provides a guide to work from, it is not a legally binding document. It is always recommended by M.A. Mills that a person consider either a pre-paid funeral plan or a will, which can set parameters around who can make funeral decisions for the deceased and what the funeral involves. But as the cost of living continues to rise, the option provides a free alternative to start the planning process.

Kaitlan added: “We have purposefully kept the form simple and open to prevent overwhelm, but it can be completed with as much or as little detail as a person would like to share. The main purpose is that anybody, whatever their preferences, specific needs or concerns, can fill out the form and feel as though it has asked the questions that are important to them, and any specific needs or requirements are addressed.”

M.A. Mills first opened its doors in 1995 in Radcliffe on Trent and was acquired by A.W. Lymn in October 2023. Operating with the same values and mission to provide compassionate, professional and family-focused care as A.W. Lymn, it offers a streamlined funeral service to communities in the East Midlands, with funeral homes in Radcliffe-on-Trent, Aspley, Allenton and Cotmanhay.